It’s 1:00 PM, which means I woke up early. Last night the last players left here at a little after 3. The game was a big success, I was up huge all night, but managed to tilt away a good $100 at the final FEATURE table. Here’s the play-by-play, as scribbled in a reporter’s notebook.
SETUP
6:55 PM
I’ve got the tables and chairs arranged. I use a big bedsheet to cover the banquet table in the living room. The breakfast nook in the kitchen will be table 2. My cards and chips are on one table and I’m waiting for Mr. Blood to arrive with more.
My kids love the poker setup, and they’ve climbed into the folding chairs to play what they think is Texas Hold-Em. It was at this time that my oldest, a 6 year old who starts first grade this fall, said those magic words, “Daddy, will you teach me to play poker?”
Dear readers, I almost cried.
7:09 PM
A ring at the front door I didn’t expect. The game was set for 8, and while a few of the regulars have been known to show up early, this is a bit odd.
My kids answer the door and Mrs. Blood is there. She’s shopping for a new home and loves the house NEXT DOOR. She and my wife launch a broad-based conspiracy to acquire the property. I imagine a housewarming POKER-GAME/BARBEQUE of epic proportions. With adjoining backyards, I imagine a band, but I can’t let Blood choose the music.
I tried to play this development off in a very cool macho disinterested way, but I’m pretty excited about the possibilities.
7:29 PM
My wife and Mrs. Blood are watching a home movie that the sbobet Bloodette has burned herself. It’s some sort of cowboy music played over photos of thier last trip to the beach. My wife swoons at the idea and now I’ve got to lug a camera around the beach this weekend.
Frustrated with the female bonding I headed for the store. I’d already arranged the booze for the night (tequila, vodka, and moonshine), but I still needed beer. The grocery is less than a half mile from my subdivision and I’ve never wanted to drive anywhere I could easily walk so… off the flop-flops flew.
7:31 PM
I choose Diet Aspen brew. 12 pack.
7:33 PM
My neighbors see me carrying Diet Aspen brew back to the house and one of them yells, “Hey G! Is there a bridal shower at your place tonight?”
THE GAME
It’s $50 max buyin with .25/.50 blinds. Rebuys are, of course, highly encouaged.
8:15 PM
First cards in the air. Blood and I have decided to handle the banking at separate tables. I decided hearts from the pile would get the kiddie tabe while the spades were in the living room. Blood captained there while I was, and still am, the ace of hearts.
MY TABLE :
1s Moi
2s Phil (Friend of Alan)
3s Alan (who claims to have been at Woodstock. That makes him one of the few people I know who was actually there OR just one of a dozen or so I know who have told me they were there… he also looks EXACTLY like Robert DeNiro, Fockers era. Plus, he’s a friend of the aforementioned Phil)
4s Cardone (his nicknames include: Overdraft protection… and Call-done)
5s Rich (I’d post something about Rich here, but he won’t stop talking long enough for me to concentrate on his features)
6s THE WOLVERINE (Youngest player at the game… and son of Shep Tiltstein)
7s Dymski (Who bought a Harley in Maryland and then regretted driving it back to the Carolinas)
8:27 PM
I bust THE WOLVERINE when my AK catches an ace on the turn. He bet into me assuming his AJ was good. It wasn’t and it was some time before he rebought. In fact, shortly afterward, his seat was taken by the late arriving TeamScottSmith.
8:42 PM
I’m in a hand with Calldone. I make it $3 pre-flop and he comes along.
The flop is ace-rag-rag
I bet out $6 and he calls again.
The turn is another rag and I check.
Calldone bets 5 and I check-raise to $15.
Calldone folds.
I show the hammer!
Here’s the thing: He’s obviously playing the ace on the flop and his call on the flop bet seems to indicate that he thinks his pair is good. Then the turn card couldn’t have helped me. What about the check-raise would make him fold?
That’s the hammer baby.
8:52
TeamScottSmith has, in fact, arrived. He’s got a bottle of “Forest Glen Pinot” and he’s ready for one of the most entertaining table images in homegame history.
Scott’s MO is always the same. Chat,chat,chat… finish the bottle of wine… and suddenly… WHAM!… too drunk to communicate. He’s been running this scam on new players at the G-Vegas game since I’ve known him and its a damn convincing act. He knocks his chips on the floor, mispronounces words, and in general appears drunker than ALCAN’THANG in a river of booze. Scott is a pretty solid player so the ruse usually earns him so dough.
